Time...

Now that I have started my Winter Break... I'll set some time away from trying to "relax" to start updating my blog... Who am I kidding, I can't relax... ever ... but I will try to update.

So far you have missed:

-I had to completely pack up my classroom

-Anthony broke the garage door

-Sleepover with Cody before he goes to Afghanistan

-The new way to eat is working.. most of the time

...more to come :)

My first step...

After reading The Lupus Recovery Diet, I actually found out new things about my lupus that I didn't know. Lupus is more than what I thought, which is why I have never been in remission. Learning about antigens has been so helpful. I also know that hormone levels effect my lupus all the time. There are so many hormones in animals... So the hormones and antigens from the food I eat from animals become "foreign invaders" in my body. So I'm going to try the Elimination Diet. (BTW...I HATE the word DIET) At first, I thought "remove all meat and dairy". Then I called Jenn, my pretty much life-coach when it comes to my lupus. She said yes on eliminating meat, but try to incorporate some fish. The we talked about how hard it is to eliminate dairy products. I REALLY LOVE milk in my coffee. So we came up with trying "alternative sources to dairy". The ex and I tried soy milk years ago, but it made my tummy issues worse. She said to try rice milk. I need to make sure I am getting enough protein in my diet (UGH on the word diet).
If I look at this "diet" as a lifestyle change...maybe I could eliminate my negative energy energy to the word diet. :)

Trying something new...

I am so fortunate to have so many people in my life that are concerned for my well-being, especially when it comes to my health. Summer sent me a link to see if I had ever heard about it... I listened to the lady speak and read the link. I ended up purchasing and downloading the book the night I read the link. I have to journal my progress...so why not on my blog. I'm so excited to try something new that does not have anything to do with medications. Here is the link if you are interested:

www.lupusrecoverdiet.com

Remembering...

Remembering may seem like an easy thing to do....but I find it is a daily struggle for me!!!!

Remembering to do my blog...
Remembering to fill ALL of my medications...
Remembering to make sure all doors are locked at night...
Remembering to keep the gas tank is full...
Remembering to make sure the princess has a daily snack...
Remembering to get all my papers and grades recorded on time...

The list could go on and on...

One thing (or should I say 2 things) I have NO trouble remembering are my precious two lovelies!!!!!

Just me and the Teenager...

At the OSU home opener in 97 degree weather...

Out of touch...

When school comes around...I become out of touch...

+with family
+with friends
+with the world

It is part of the life of a teacher. I'm planning and preparing, cutting and laminating, creating and conquering...

I may be out of touch with the world, but I am in touch with my passion...TEACHING!!!

Just the memory...

Tomorrow my princess turns double digits...so I decided to do something special for her instead of buying her something she'll eventually grow out of or lose...

We had mommy/daughter spa pedicures and manicures. She loved the massaging the best! so I did not take any pictures...we will both have just the memory in our heads...sweet and intimate and forever :)

More therapy...

I am finding gardening is great therapy!

I relax when I tend to it...

I reflect when I'm tending...

I feel such a sense of accomplishment...

It's kind of like being a parent but you see the growth quicker...

Lessons learned...

I found that I learned many lessons out our first big trip with just the three of us...

Lesson 1: No amount of sun screen will prevent Sylvie from burning...
I ended up buying the kids swim shirts...the princess LOVED it...the teenager hid it under the bed because he said "I'll look like a douche bag!"

Lesson 2: Each kid has $20 to spend
But if they give me attitude, are disrespectful, or do not listen...I remove $1.
If they have a panic attack when trying something new (the princess) or become extra helpful (the teenager)...I add $1.
Both kids broke even...

Lesson 3: Beds times are a must!
Teenager: 11pm (that is IN BED at 11pm)
Princess: 8pm (if she refused to take a break from swimming...that girl is a fish!)

Lesson 4: Must drive with a sucker in my mouth (especially in West Virginia)
This prevented inappropriate things coming out of my mouth when driving 70mph in the Appalachian Mountains with a 5% decline and truckers cut me off OR trying to get off the ever so complicated exit ramps OR driving under a mountain when I am clearly claustrophobic and have a teenager who likes to be "funny"

Lesson 5: When I say we are going to do something... you WILL do it and you WILL like it!
Anyone who has a teenager and a princess totally understands this...

But overall...AWESOME trip :)

Packed...

We are heading on our 1st BIG road trip, just the 3 of us, to see the Atlantic Ocean. The last time Anthony was there...he was 2 months old...and he does not remember. I look back and think...."Why did we never take the kids to the beach?" I remember he took a trip to Florida with a friend. I remember he took a trip to NYC with his uncle. I remember visiting his family in Michigan. I remember we did take the kids to Disney...two years in a row. I remember taking a road trip to DC with the kids, my sister, and Caitlin... but never the beach.... I wonder why?

So I am looking forward to:
+watching their expression to the smell of salt water

+their toes squishing in the sand and having an endless sandbox

+long walk on the beach and having them look forever and see the ocean

+watch the sunrise with my children

+fishing off the pier with my lovelies

+an adventure they will remember it for a lifetime...

So I have had the bags packed since Tuesday...
I have had all the shopping completed since Wednesday...

My van is the cleanest it has EVER looked...

And we are PACKED for our adventure to North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Easy summer entertainment...

She doesn't ask for much...just some water and friends...

Proudly blooming...

My 1st GARDEN is finally blooming....

Remembering...

I remember when he was so little that he fit right across my chest...

I remember my mom teaching him how to smell flowers...

I remember when we had to have "naked time" every night...

I remember trips to the ER for head injuries...

I remember him graduating from kindergarten...

I remember him riding his bike for the first time...

I remember the first time he played football, basketball, soccer...

I remember sitting through hours of practices and games thinking "what if something happens and I'm not here?"...

I remember letting him go to school with a mohawk for 1 day...

I remember when we surprised him (and his sister) with a trip to Disney...

I remember when he cooked me his first steak....

I remember when he first mowed the lawn...then proceeded to break the lawnmower...

I remember when he grew as tall as me...then outgrew me...

Now I add the memory of watching him walk out of Middle School....and into High School...

Although time flies in the blink of an eye, I cherish every moment I have with my son!

Booked

So I received the teenager's summer calendar for football...since he is going to be a freshman in high school (3 grey hairs just popped out of my head from that comment), he is going to be MUCH busier. Which means....I am going to be MUCH busier. So I decided to print off calendars for the summer in hopes to meet my everlasting long goal: I will be organized...that and I totally forgot to go to the football meeting last night...UGH!!!
So between the football meetings, football attitude camp (I'm excited for this one), kiddie football camp (which his is volunteering), agility training for the football player, Summer Reading program at the library, VBS, BFF's birthday, Vacation at N.Myrtle Beach, sleepover, an orthodontist appointment, my rhumey appointment, baby shower, birthday parties, hanging out with the twins... I pretty much have booked myself for the month of June....and July is getting pretty close to being full as well!

The positive is that I have enough spoons to do it all....I think ;)

The present

My last day of school was May 19th. The kids' last day is June 9th. I like to think of it as a sweet present from the powers that be...

*I get to send them off to school as I stay in my pajamas.

*I complete tasks.

*I watch whatever I want on tv.

*I'm able to read books.

* I get to send them off to school as I stay in my pajamas.

(I put that one on there twice because it's pretty sweet!)

So whomever dealt me this hand.... Thank you for FABULOUS present! :)

After the hurricane...comes the rainbow...

Well... another flare, another hospital, another round of steroids have come....

This has been a really rough season for me with aches, pains, injuries, and random reactions....like a long hurricane with lots of turmoil and destruction... now I am waiting for my rainbow...

The Wind Beneath My Wings

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be.

I could fly higher than an eagle,

cause you are the wind beneath my wings...."

"Fly, fly fly high against the sky,

So high I almost touched the sky.

Thank you, thank you,

Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings."

-Bette Midler

It's all about perspective....

He is ornrey...

He is mischievious....

He is lazy....

He irritates his sister...

He makes messes....

Most days, he makes me want to pull out my hair....one by one....

But then I stop and look at the whole picture....

In 2 years, he will be getting ready to drive....

In 4 years, he will be getting ready to leave for college...

I notice the wonderful in him and change my perspective...

He takes care of me when I am sick...

He loves making dinner....

He laughs at my goofy jokes....

He is caring and soulful....

Every teacher says how respectful and insightful he is....

I may call him "the teenager", but he is the most amazing teenager in the world!!!!!!

Just late...

When I'm "just late"...someone is the cause.
I have a new system....whoever is the cause of making me late is charged $5. This new system has increased my days of being on time.
But if you REALLY want to break it down....it goes something like this:

"Everyone up!" me
many grunts and moans from the princess...
"Everyone up!" me
"I AM" screams the princess....now grunts and moans from the teenager....
"Everyone up" me
"La la la la la" sings the princess as she tries on 4 different outfits....
"I AM!" screams the teenager...
During this time, I am trying to get myself ready...
As we all finally walk downstairs...somewhat dressed....
Someone (depends on the day)
"Oh, I forgot..."
This leads to me either helping someone find something, helping with homework, running to the store buying something, etc...

Once, this lead to me frantically jumping out of bed.....which I am still in a walking cast 4 1/2 weeks later.

So when I'm "just late"....it is MUCH more than "just late"... it is complicated, crazy, chaos :)

Where do I fit in...

When I was in the hospital back in October, I had a doctor tell me I was a complicated jigsaw puzzle when it came to figuring me out. It think this has always been true about me with all aspects of my life. I have always tried to be simple... or tried to fit in... or even try to seem normal...

My reality is that I am far from simple or normal... I will never fit any mold or stereo type...

I'm finding these realities to be true with being a divorced, single mother that has an autoimmune disease... I have friends that could fall into so many categories. But I am very complicated because of who I am, how I handle my relationship with the ex and his girlfriend, how I want to wear my Superwoman gear, how lupus restricts my life....

I feel that I don't fit in anywhere.

Having this feeling can be consuming at times, but I see it as a blessing. This helps me be a better mother, sister, daughter, teacher, and friend. It helps me not take life too seriously. It helps me be me...

So I guess you could say if I had to pick a disease that is as complicated as I am, lupus would be it... Don't you think so???

Momma would be proud...

to see the ladies we have become...

to have the amazing bond we have enriched...

to the traditions we have kept and began...

"My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune." Graycie Harmon

Trying....

+I'm trying to catch up on blogs...





+I'm trying to move...





+I'm trying not to lay in bed all day...





+I'm trying to work through the pain...





+I'm trying not to cry when I walk...





+I'm trying to be strong for my children...

This is the WORST trying to get back to close to 100% I have EVER had to go through!!!!!